Although I find it difficult to believe that the average "spanking" parent truly intends to hurt their child during the punishment process I have noted that spanking is an inappropriate and non-effective form of punishment. I have not only noted this as a recipient of "spanking" punishment but also as a witness of this type of punishment. In this way, I believe that "spanking" at any age is really an impulsive reaction on behalf of the parent to channel sudden anger, adrenaline, or rage associated with the miss-behavior of their child. I also have noted that many parents who spank their young children have received less formal education, place less emphasis on the development of interpersonal communication skills, and believe that children "learn" from spontaneous, painful punishment such as spanking and slapping.
It is my belief that spanking children is a therapeutic outlet for adults who have been the recipients of such punishment in their lifetime. The way in which their parents had punished them as children is comfortable and is re-affirming because the parent is able to make the statement "My parents spanked me and I turned out okay."
This, combined the cycle of negative affirmations i.e. inappropriate name calling such as "stupid, idiot, ugly, bad kid, etc" in the form of scolding that generally accompanies a spanking breeds a generation of children who
1. Have great difficulty achieving anything more than their parents achieved,
2. Believe that they are okay, but not anything special,
3. Believe that it is okay to treat their children as they were treated- like property.
Finally, and perhaps most accessible and logical for everyone reading is a prime example :
If your child hits or is violent towards another child, does it really make sense to spank (a form of hitting/violence) to teach your child that hitting and violance is unacceptable. Obviously, you are only re-inforcing the action by completing it yoruself. As children aspire to be like adults and commonly similar to their parents, they will note that the parent took violent action. This memory of the violent action acts as encouragment to repeat it as if the parent had told them TO DO IT rather than as if the parent had discouraged it.
If everyone just took 10-100 deep breaths before spanking their children, spanking might not occur. Instead a constructive criticism process and stern punishment program could be used. An example of this could be removing all toy privileges for a few hours or for the day, etc.
If there is one thing that a child will avoid it is being bored... A spanking may only sting physically for a moment but the emotional damage could be forever. The child will remember the punishment but not as a consequence to a minor rule violation...
Get a punching bag if you want to hit something- Kids are not your property.
Last Edited on 21-Jan-2007 10:28 PM
