This Monday is Martin Luther King’s Day. He had a dream and delivered a speech titled “I have a Dream” on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963. In that speech he made a comment that said: “This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned…….” Much has changed since 1963 and opportunities have flourished over the years because of Dr. King’s speech. But, did that apply to children as well?

I opened up the paper the other day and saw front page news of a woman in Santa Barbara who was arrested for locking her three adopted children in cages. I had hoped that most people would be as outraged over this article as I was. Sadly, they were not. Would you all be outraged if I told you that Child abuse is the number one killer of children in various age groups? Would you be outraged if you knew that 3,244,000 children are abused in the United States each year? Would you even be upset if you knew that approximately 12,000-13,000 children are abused here in Ventura County alone?

Like Martin Luther King, I also have a dream - That children will be free from caretakers who harm them. That laws will be changed so that people who harm children will be charged for the crime it really is – not a social problem where social workers offer family counseling in the hopes that a few classes will erase the emotional scars of these children when they are raped, burned, beat, scalded, broken bones and marinated in methamphetamines while the parent is pregnant with them. Why should parents be treated differently when they kill their children than any other adult who kills? That social services will stop “reunifying” children with their abusers so that they are not further injured or killed.

Check out the stats. Millions of children are abused each year. Thousands are hospitalized because of abuse. Hundreds are killed because of abuse. Those children who survive will suffer the emotional trauma for a lifetime.

The facts speak for themselves.

3,244,000 – Children abused in the United States each year.
797,699– Is the approximate population of Ventura County
22,000– Is the seating capacity for the Staple arena in Los Angeles.
1, 401– children are killed nationally each year by their caregivers, but we don’t know about it because the cause of death, though a result of abuse, is listed otherwise. Consequently, we are losing these child abuse statistics. (broken ribs=pneumonia=death)

Just Look at the Facts

• The number of children abused each year in this nation would populate the County of Ventura 4 times.
• You would have to fill the Staples Arena in Los Angeles approximately 147 times to accommodate the number of children abused each year.
• Virtually all children who are raped are raped by their fathers, boyfriends, uncles, brothers in the victim’s own home. The law calls it “child molestation.” Just as you should never turn your back on a predatory animal you should never trust a sex offender. Again, it is a crime, not a social problem.
• Would you give an arsonist a match? Would you give a pedophile your child to baby-sit? Then why, in God’s name, would you give a helpless child who cannot speak for themselves, back to a sex offender?

Statistics show that every day; scores of children are terrorized by abusive parents. In cold, hard terms that means that every day a small hand is held over a flame, an infant is dipped in scalding water, a child is forced to swallow household cleansers, an empty stomach grumbles while parents eat, a terrified toddler trembles in a dark, locked closet, a tiny arm is broken, a life comes to a premature end.

We can talk about child-abuse prevention, and list the statistics. However, these suggestions will not help the bullies out there be it parents, relatives, or friends, who only want to hurt children. But it is a start.

The physical and emotional abuse of children yields harmful consequences for society. A growing body of evidence links child abuse and neglect with drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy, youth violence and chronic health problems. It is therefore critical to focus on preventing child abuse and neglect before it starts.

Placing an emphasis on positive parenting is an important component to the prevention of child abuse. As a community, it is essential that we support parents and families. As parents, we must strive to respect and nurture our children.

Here are a few tips on how to be the best parent you can be:
1. Be a nurturing parent. Children need to know that they are special and loved. Educate yourself about a child’s development process so you can have reasonable expectations about what your child can and cannot do.
2. Help yourself. When the big and little problems of everyday life pile up to the point where you feel overwhelmed and out of control, take time out. Don’t take it out on our child. Take a deep breath, turn on some music. Know where you can turn for help when you need it.
3. It can be frustrating to hear your baby cry, especially when nothing you do seems to work. Learn what to do if your baby won’t stop crying. But, never shake your baby.
4. Monitor your child’s television and computer sue. Watching violent films on TV or playing violent computer games can harm young children. Not only does it scare them, it also teaches children that aggression is a good way to handle frustration and solve problems.
5. Spend time playing with your children or read to them instead.
6. Report suspect abuse or neglect. Keeping children safe is the responsibility of every adult in our community. If you have reason to believe a child has been – or may be harmed, call the police.

It is our responsibility to prevent the abuse and neglect that robs so many of our society’s children of their childhood, their sense of security and well being, and their future. Together, we can make a difference. It is a new year. Please have a dream to help all children.

"Everybody down here just wants to punish somebody. Hell, I got this old boy back home, I can't get him out of jail! He fondled his niece—no penetration or anything, you know. Those sons of bitches gave him two years!"
"How old was the girl, Senator?"
"Aw hell, I don't know… Four?! Five?!"
—Spoken by a North Carolina state senator who opposed,
then voted for, incest reform legislation

Jane LeMOND Alvarez